skewered on the end

My goal has always been to highlight the darkest aspects of our world. As I sit here, I figure it is Evil. It is as Evil as one can get, is it not? Enduring empty hours spent in futility. Finding it difficult at this time to become something of a refreshing being. I seem only capable of getting online to check email and what not rather than doing nothing at all. Being here in the now and concentrating on the next show has left me somewhat ironically, fatigued in excuse.

Things are going to change soon, I always state, yet most of the attributes have yet to start running (i.e: paypal or photos of my artwork). I have to admit, I don’t know, there’s just something about doing artwork, that for me, feels a lot more like layering bricks with cement. It will make your structure last longer. Sure. But, let me say this, because it is impossible to really understand if you're a complete stranger to art. From the on set of compiling the right tools and allowing the ideas to clarify, in my case, I have already spent an hour... maybe two if a extended moment is in session. While in the painting process, let alone passing judgment constantly on the artwork, before you know it the inherent art piece has changed (again, maybe twice or three times even) and has already ate away through an entire nights sleep or weekend.

Many of you might see it as wholly negative to have this attitude on a daily basis, but I am somehow of that nature, nothing could be further from the truth. If I were not to spend as much time writing on this website, facebook, or other I would be doing my artwork. At times even I give into the fatigue or concern before I even have the chance to address my issues head on without fear or how I might portray it at the time.

I imagine the ghosts that drop by my room are off doing post-summer things. As for me, I cannot argue, I suppose if I had a more eventful day there would’ve been a little more activity, but I am off getting heavier and show no sign of letting up. Anyway, for those of you who want to know what I did this weekend, I attended Chris Stewarts' house party on Saturday. He, along with his wife Allison had recently overcome what I consider to be impossible. To explain it without providing more than the necessary context, they remade their whole Bathroom and I along with many others were invited to take part in the celebration.

Make no mistake about it, fun times were had by all. I had my first s'mores marshmallow sandwich roasted directly over an outdoor fire in his backyard. It was a real treat. Please note: If you saw, or yet to have seen the photos direct from their bathroom, it's just pretend. As if all my gentlemanly graces had vanished. I do warn you, some of the photos I had taken are nothing short of appalling. Come to think of it, for some it definitely may work in more ways than I can imagine. So, if you do see it, please leave a comment.

an application of this

I die in my mind. I die while watching a woman paint. Her cadmium covered fingers roaming across her lips with a lit cigarette, barely perceptible to the underlying cause of her dementia. She stumbled upon herself infront of her semi-visible, ephemeral construction of scribbles. She kept stumbling as if she were unimpressed with everything. She was not laughing. She was not talking. She was not loving. She was not looking. She is re-conceived from both our expectations while in her own conscious and bodily relationship. I thought of the people who would be still alive. They would remember how I was an ass to be around. They would remember how I was not fun at all. Worst of all things. To poison me with whatevers.

behind the bridge

I believe we develop our diseases for honorable reasons. It's our body's way of telling us that our needs - not just our body's need but our emotional needs too - are not being met, and the needs that are fulfilled through our illnesses are important ones

-- (qtd. in Siegel 1998, p 240).

With the mediated quality of technology, modern thought has a way of interpreting itself. Naturally, not everything I say can be taken for granted or the medium of my message be entirely omni-present. It's important that I emphasize that these entries can develope from being a illustration on a event or situation to sometimes being a very emotionally disturbing thought or reflection. In all my years, I've come to know my thoughts are particularly disconnected from any individually accessible universe. In fact, if anything should be taken into consideration it is the cognitive disorders of mine and the confusion that is persistant in my attitude to life.

Sometimes I have a neural fiction perpetrated by senses. It is presumably there for my own good, that is, for the greater good of my selfish genes, which is probably one reason why I'm stuck in this illusion that I cannot dispel at will.

Sometimes, when I'm in my room I try find out what the world looks like from my left eye, in order to do that I close my right eye. When both of my eyes are open, I cannot help seeing a single, integrated panorama. The visible world appears as if it is seen from a vantage point situated inside my skull, behind the bridge of my nose. Of course, this is where "I" hole-up. This, at it were, is really where it seems to be. Maybe, I think to myself, I could see bits of brain and bone. Instead, it looks like the entire front of my head is missing. The illusions persist. I shut the world out altogether. This total sensory deprivation.

ground to a halt

In bed I struggle to focus. I bulge my eyes out and keep beneath the surface, waiting for it to get colder, for the air to thin out to preempt imploding. I'm caught between a rock and hard place, surrounded by people who are supposed to care but find it too much of an inconvenience. She sleeps a lot, but really doesn’t.

The coffee and tea. The bodies and excuses. The sycophancy shared with so many, perhaps none more so than myself. The enormous collection of imagery and music brought together at the not-so-natural gallery of the Babylon Night Club yesterday night.

I have always found this universe outside my own largely disturbing and grotesquely misinformed in some form or other. I had a hard time justifying how any of my paintings, no matter their current meaning, what their incarnation should be to others. In most cases, the work was left to be interpreted by everyone from the art connoisseurs, the regular club goers, to the habitual gossipers. I gather that the images in that case became something other to my understanding.

It's sometimes hard to escape those thoughts. The course of today ground to a halt, a conscious effort made to relax yet to have been found. A mind today, tired as may be, kempt in tracking those reactions. What amazed me over the night were the few people, those who on occasion took it upon themselves to acknowledge my artwork. The friends, the family, and the new faces. Some were interested in my methods of application or the materials I had used for my kind of spontaneous aesthetics. For the most part, adhesive glue helped put-together most of these three-dimensional paintings. It doesn't get any easier than that. I must admit.

To those who approached my art and I without any intimidation or fear of hurting any foolish optimism, or rather just hope...

I Thank You.

flight 604 to paris via cairo

Shortly after takeoff, a charter plane disappears from the radar screens and plunges 148 people into the Red Sea. The result of all our days spent on the resort of Sharm el-Sheikh. There are no potential terrorists. There are only technicalities. We are victims of our own process that does not follow any guidelines. We are accidents waiting to happen and ready to expose the inner workings of our own casualty.

There is a dense fog that completely envelopes everything, it leaves only grainy residuals of noisemakers and useless cast-offs. From awakening in the early morning at a hotel suite in the downtown core, I was frozen into submission. Physically, mentally, and painfully exhausted away from anything at all imaginative or reasoning.

Yesterday was Sharon's birthday party, one she felt would appeal more to the inebriated. There were many highlights, including a notably suggestive embrace between she and her guy-friend. Amongst other depections of 'harmless' fun my response did not fashionably contend. The air that filled the room was something that made my respiratory system nearly malfuncton, so the balcony was in order for some necessary ventalation.

In the end, it was clear that something is on the rise. For what? It remains to be seen, however that is not the question. It is how the artist will respond.

basement art

Look at what I found on the door step of my second home. A copy of Upfront - Ottawa's Independent News, Music, Art & Culture Magazine. Inside, a interview with Marcus Lamoureux, where on page 25 he mentions Dane Aktison (who is he?) as a fellow participant in his newly established music and art show at the Babylon venue. Despite the fact there's no way around the typo, it will not stop a considerably fun and informative read. Look for your free copy of the September 2007 Issue at your local... shop. In the meantime, here's is an excerpt written by the art columnist, Morgan Cook...

Lamoureux's events are a great way to check out "basement art" and the undiscovered. Expect a wide variety of unconventional work using an even wider variety of media. Even more, they are a great place to connect and meet with other artists and musicians. Many venues are willing to take a chance on a band that's just getting started, Zaphod's offers Monday nights and opening bands are always needed. But for artists finding an appropriate venue when you haven't developed a CV of exhibitions, got your website going or maybe you produce "unconventional work", can be very daunting. Lamoureux's shows offer artists a great opportuinity to get out of the basement and start selling work. He feels "my mission is to help new artists and photographers show and exhibit their creative works." The only problems he encounters are when the artwork doesn't get the respect it deserves. Because the events are held in dark bars and people are drinking and enjoying the music, works have been damaged in the past. So on September 15th when you're moshing and pogo-ing your ass to Machine Gun Dolly remember you're at an art show goddamnit!

-- Upfront Magazine. Basement Art. Pages. 24-25. (click here to read article)

Reading the article, I suppose the question can't be helped about what makes a most effective scenario for new and upcoming artists to display their artwork. Obviously, some risks have to be taken. Babylon is located downtown on Bank Street, also known as the urban planners worst nightmare. I especially find on a late Saturday night, the place is fallen rampant to a depressing statistic of homelessness and drug abuse. Unless you’re inept, exploring here you'll be subjected to a number of imposing storefronts and shady individuals. Irresponsible levels of drinking? All to common here amongst the other dilemmas in the world. If a Artist like myself truly is in search of meaningful return, it's not merely to have others look at what one could bestow in amazement but to have them become a part of the creation process and inspire a new world of change built from there.

diagram of the psyche

If one might be tempted to see the artists exhibition next Saturday at a advanced ticket price, I regret to inform you that I'm all out of tickets. Do not take this as a sad sign. Over the course of this weekend I'll have a myriad amount of tasks to complete that include a encounter with the curator. I'll see if he could spare a few more tickets for sale at advanced prices.

As the show-time increasingly closes-in on me, I must say that I'm marvelously curious to see how volatile I may become. The body of work I'll display is large in scale but few in number rather than the suggested higher quantity of yet smaller presentations. This doesn't worry me as much as facilitating the more analytical. If there is uncertainty, I may gesture to a display chart showing a diagram of my own psyche... A bibliography is in order.

buttons incite anger

This entry is character emphasis. I'll start by saying I look like total shit. In fact, I look like total shit most of the time. It is an aspect of myself that I embrace more than ward off. If you recall the off topic stuff prominent in most of last years entries, it's gone. It was just heading somewhere nasty after some had commented in disinterested satisfaction. Disinterested satisfaction as a result has become something more of a function I familiarize with in everyday life. Some people have to try it out to figure that out. How quaint a notion. Enough Neo-hippy philosophy for ya? Anyway.

From time to time I talk all night long with friends, family, co-workers, loved ones, and strangers. Sometimes not even at all. Evidently enough, on particular occasions, I push some buttons, incite anger, intrigue, frustrate, debate or engage in a heated argument. Again, I'll contradict myself, as I and everyone else contradicts each-other. You might fail to see another’s side of things, then come around and consider it later- enough so that in your next discourse with someone else on the topic, you might take it as your side instead. We are all seemingly infinite in that way. Over the course of our lifetimes we may inhabit many positions and never feel as if we’ve found ourselves.

So go ahead and judge everyone against your current ideals, and equally judge yourself against them too. Give pause and consideration to whether your beliefs serve you- if your find fault, be courageous enough to change them. Do not accept anything as a given, but always instead strive to apply what you know, and absorb what you don’t.

rhytidectomy

As flat and commonplace I found acrylic it to be, I simply became more and more interested in using heavy amounts of texture to create a seductive form of complex imagery. As I intergrated away from the more traditional application I was spurred into creating an even more decorative piece I call Rhytidectomy. It was intially inspired by a glimpse of The Joker from one of my favourite comic books/films, Batman. What I implemented into the painting were mainly the features that facinated me most and I contrasted these elements from the rest with great importance. You can say it kind of took on a life of it's own unlike the character villian itself because of my need to combine materials (i.e: thread for sewn facial details and a zipper across his lips). It is now a harbinger of thoughts and feelings symbolically more akin to find a narrative device. If you're interested in discussing my piece further, please feel free to contact me through e-mail.

Rhytidectomy
Prints (w/Mat) are Available for Sale:
Print measuring 04" x 06" - Price: $20.00 CDN
Print measuring 11" x 14" - Price: $40.00 CDN
Original Canvas 24" x 30" - Price: N/A

a new beginning

The darkly painted and unconventional imagery is what Dane Atkinson has recently debuted within the art world. The Ottawa artist is emerging with a variety of pieces that captivates and invokes curiousity. Though the subject matter may appear to be something out of a science fiction novel or fanatical nightmare, it still invites the audience in and wills you to stay.

Born to a mother of First Nations descent and a father of Jamaican and British descent, Dane Atkinson has and continues to explore aspects of himself. Like his work, he is still in an act of transfiguration. The journey has only begun and with both himself and his work, great, new adventures lay upon the horizon. -- Writes a Supporter.

Hello, Thank you for visiting. I could go on on how special it is to have some of you here with a part of me today but I'm not going to, just as I imagine you will refrain from lamenting over your thoughts to share on my new reproach to blogging in the following. It's not unlike bloggers or plain website developers to get lost in the drivel of madness or be caught in a storm from which they did not perceive. Since November of last year I've obviously taken a shameless amount of time off from recording my thoughts or provoking panics in order to capture some more private space.

Coming back here I'll have you know that I'll soon be incorporating a number of new elements that will broaden my interpretations of internal suffering for your viewing pleasure. Soon enough one may only need to take a brief look to find that my own artwork; that includes paintings and drawings. Through time I'll attempt to detail my whole spectacles and allowing you the viewer to give feedback or...for some strangers... engage in freakish behaviour outside the normalcy of the everyday.

My previous employment at the Federal Governments' Justice Department was how I described, a "lightening speed waltz of bureaucracy". The short-lived tenure left me tired and particularly discomforted. Sometime after I followed a new trend, one called facebook (feel free to look me up - daneatkinson@hotmail.com) and greeted a new phase of challenges. For instance, I began painting again. This time I'm experimenting with a new aesthetic using a rich amount of various polymers to calcium carbonate and matting agent (modeling paste) in creating works that are especially visual effects-driven.

Recently, Marcus Lamoureux (local artist/art curator) had expressed interest in having my artwork on exhibition from September through until January at various locations here in downtown Ottawa. I've been punishing myself in-between the night and day to produce new visions for display at The Babylon Night Club.

Babylon Bonanza - Art & Music Show
Date: Saturday, September 15th, 2007
Time: 8:00 PM - 2:00 AM
Tickets at the Door - Price: $15.00 CDN
Tickets in Advance - Price: $10.00 CDN (available through myself)