underwent

During the wintertime it seems difficult to do anything. With hibernation in effect, here is a little information you might find valuable while reading at home. My hands are incredibly shriveled into the likes of peanut shells after washing my artists brushes with brush cleaner and preserver for the past half hour... Unfortunately, many of us wouldn't consider that sentence anything literally worth reading... so if you've already come to a stop I'll understand... any further and I'll be surprised to know you're still reading. Afterwards, I'll have you know that while I was sorting through the refrigerator I had meet one of the most defined characteristics of our country and our people. No it wasn't a relationship with the wilderness of the great outdoors but a cold, self-abandoned, premium bottle of beer. Following the chance encounter, one of my easily learned special skills known as consuming came into effect.

A single dark glass bottle for killing brain cells. A stress reliever after another busy day of work, warding off the devil for only a little longer. A personal fantasy of the slightest sophistication, class and sensitivty in a man... A faint memory of caveman behavior is always good.

I'd like to post more regularly but the fact that I don't doesn't bug me much at all as it used to. To tell you the truth, when I look back half the time... I find I don't even concentrate on what I am doing. But when I am speaking my mind, especially online, some may come to perceive it as just another desperate attempt in seeking attention. I wouldn't exactly describe it in that manner but rather as a tool of social construction. Now being a blogger, regardless of how often you spend time deconstructing your whole-self, you do spend a considerable amount of time, I don't care how, virtually creating your lifestyle as you see fit or wearing your honesty at the mercy of a bullet. The immediate response, now don't get me wrong, unfortunately see's this as an act of seeking fame. Now as I appear in representation, just as contradictory it may seem like any public school teacher I've had growing up (i.e: In light of how often I was made comparison to the mentally retarded despite my continual academic achievements through out grade school. Beats me.) "I am not used to people. Period." You can quote me on that one. Diagnosed with a cognitive disorder, hyper-sensitive to the teeth and with as much anxiety to fill a band-wagon; I can say that I've never been a fan of attention to tell you the truth.

Last Sunday, my Vernissage at The Buzz Restaurant was a willful commitment to a circumstance that is the need to get my stuff (my artwork) out. As far as I've found, you meet a group of people who are looking at your artwork, who as you may find sometimes are not a representative part of your work that you had produced... but they become your fans and you get locked into it to some extent and you play into it as well. Ultimately you have no clue. No idea at all. Of what that brings out. I had no clue of what I was doing, maybe it had more to do with the alcohol more than anything but it was and still is a whole new experience for me. I wouldn't call these art exhibitions of mine the validation of my work but rather a considerable step forward in encouragement. And when I think back on it, it's nice to know I'm hitting the mark and that this is only the beginning.