utilize a mental construct

I give into the trouble. The trouble of sputtering synapses that are here in my brain -- my therapist says that makes me a thousand miles long and a foot deep. I acknowledge that most stay away from such occurances by being constructive and forward looking in their discourse. However, I have always made an exception.

Yeah, it's tricky buisness all right. You've got to watch your back before you get smacked. At the same time you could miss that you've got to watch yourself all around and with good, solid reasons... not to run into a variety of extremely stupid things. Things like lawn chairs or the shallow limitations to specific job pools.

The good example of how best to utilize a mental construct had asked if I were available tomorrow for a round of golf, dead broke I said, 'Starting this weekend I'm afraid I will be too busy playing a pretty good drunk. Although, being truly drunk is always more fun. I'll have to settle. Settle with things like Spam. I have a gun and I took all the bullets out of the gun except one. I spun the thing around and pointed it at my head and said all the spam in the world are messages from the aliens. Should I or should I not pull the trigger?' I asked. 'I've always loved Russian Roullette...lets see how lucky you really are?' a talented kick in reply. Check me tomorrow. I said.