eating your own beefcake

I have been AWOL. And I apologize for the paucity of posting wonder this week. I've been spending most of the week drinking coffee and I really don't know how to react when I see that Second Cup has named one of their coffee flavours - I kid you not - the "Rwandan Cup of Hope". Talk about a heavy name for a cup of coffee. 500,000 dead. Add some cream and sugar... "I'll have a large Rwandan Cup of Hope and a cranberry muffin, please.."

There’s a war going on…between South Park and Scientology. If you haven't been following the story, here's the deal. Last fall Comedy Central aired South Park's episode on Scientology. Tom Cruise exerted his influence to keep it from airing in England. Then Isaac Hayes, also a Scientologist nutbar, said he was going to leave the show due to its bigotry against religion. This week Comedy Central was scheduled to air the episode again, but they didn't. They claim it was because they wanted to air the most popular Chef episodes in tribute to Hayes (as if it makes sense to pay tribute to someone who just attacked your network's programming). Critics have suggested that Tom Cruise threatened not to promote Paramount's Mission: Impossible 3 if Comedy Central re-aired the episode (Viacom owns both Paramount and Comedy Central). It would be very easy for Comedy Central to prove that their version of events is accurate: air the episode again soon. They won't. They've even suggested it will be kept off of the season' s DVDs. The Catholic League recently prevented an episode from airing, and now it seems that the Cult of Scientology can do the same. I guess it's not just Islam that has a problem with cartoons.

At first I thought Isaac Hayes was a ridiculous hypocrite for saying he was leaving the show because of its "bigotry". He had no problem with the show mocking Christians, Jews, and Muslims, but attack his beliefs and he's taking his ball and going home. But then I came across some quotes from interviews soon after the episode aired. He seemed like he wasn't very offended at all. So here's what I think happened: The Church made him leave. They said he either had to pick Scientology or South Park. If he kept playing Chef, he'd be a Suppressive Person. So the lesson here is, don't fuck with L. Ron.

And don't give me that "all religions would look this fucked up if you saw them when they were first being created" nonsense. That's true, but it does more to illustrate the craziness of all religions than it does to defend Scientology. It's pure hypocrisy, dammit. So here you’ll find South Park's hilarious depiction of Scientology's higher beliefs.