moaning again in protest

There are many things wrong with everyone in the world. The attempt to illustrate agoraphobia has been canned because every now and again I have to leave the security of my home for excursions to my ‘so-called’ private office. I’ve said it before, aside from having immaculate ideas, every effort taken in my mornings to shower is therapeutic before I head out to reach said designation. So, here I am, consistently out and about still representive of myself, thinking as if it were possible to return to a housebound level of agoraphobia at any minute. Slumbering so fantastically.

Even as I rest it persists. Haven't the foggiest notion what may be ticking away like a mean-spirited codger holding a cheap alarm clock in my body. It's awful really how I continue to let this pain slide. If I were to treat this more seriously I may have already been in the emergency room. At the time being, I could only imagine that this is a trick. An exaggeration of my mind or a temporary condition.

"I wish you would just shoot yourself before somebody else would and get it over with. It's the only way to shut up people like you." - Commentator

There are many people in the world that are of course morons. It's obvious enough and not exactly a new development. Of course the problem is that 90% of them consider themselves not to be and would agree with the sentiment that, in fact, the world is full of morons. Therein lies the difficultly in eradicating the problem. Now, it's not as if I haven't received threats via e-mail before. I've been threatened numerous times by numerous individuals of anonymity. There is something to be said for the realities of today. The usual things such as encountering difficulties in public, the stares, the comments, the rumours, and so forth. All of which are rather easy to ignore if you're the sort that doesn't much care. Because, in truth, what does it really matter? You can only be knocked off of a pedestal if you consider yourself to be on one. The truth of life is that you're here, you live it, and then you're gone. You can attempt to convince yourself otherwise, but there it is. You get one time on the ride. If you allow it to be effected by the attitudes and dictates of others then what's the point?

If you're reading this chances are that you are not living under tyranny. In some romantic fashion you might consider yourself to be, but let's face it, no one's going to be crashing through your door tonight and hauling you off to a political re-education centre. Every time you leave your house to go to the store there isn't a better than even chance that you'll be gunned down by a sniper or caught in crossfire. Chances are you're not living under a bridge or in a part of the world devoid of clean drinking water and basic foods and medicines. Chances are if you took the time to look at your life compared to most, you could be a lot worse off. Given all that, what in the hell does it matter what some guy says or not? And how exactly could it be bad enough to precipitate the desire to kill for it?

Tonight. Can you hear my tickings as I complain in my sleep? And while I still sleep, moaning softly and moaning again in protest to the previous moan which threatened to wake, I’ll carry off to consider this...

Note: Success in the traditional sense? Success in the pathological sense? End note.