what to do with myself

Art as divided into two categories: Not Enough or Too Much. Not Enough leaves too weak a taste for memory, Too Much makes the knees weak and you're down. Taking into account my current status as a painter, I would have to say that I don’t apply the necessary elbow grease like I used to. It all wears down to a gray primer of tolerance. I tell myself, I need art in my life. It is my life. Therefore I came to the conclusion that the next time I’m out, my digital camera will always be by my side. In a re-engineering effort to my extended approach in content driven art. When I walk outside, the garbage I’ll see will look less like trash and more like a photo op.

I did something I haven’t done in a while. I went out to eat at a restaurant. Why the new occasion? It was a for my long time friend, Mooky, who’s leaving for North Bay later this evening. This gathering united his friends and family together to say hello and enjoy middle-eastern cuisine. I sat in the corner by myself. I got lazy and only turned halfway, watching everyone through the corner of my eye. From what I can gather, I would probably think I’m a snob, and I might have been right. After all, the first time I spoke to either of them I was faced with that same question that they would ask me. One being why I was so quiet, and that’s the excuse I gave them. They gave up trying to talk to me long ago, but, nonetheless, I exchanged a simple wave and crooked smile with each of them for the most part. When I finished my glass of water, looking at what I had left from my meal, I tried to figure out what to do with myself. There are pressures associated with the conduct of oneself amongst those with expertise. Even Mooky’s younger brother Mustafa had his play on significant roles and management within family business. Maybe that was the primary point where I enjoyed myself. Then again, I’m mistaken in the latter. They drove me home. I let them in. They met the house pets. It was there Mustafa let us in on his little secret. Amongst the darkest most grotesque fetishes, the stuff of criminals and deformed minds, I found he’s an exception of mention to the relatively innocent people who like pets all too too much. I won’t write much about this, it along with the daily occurrences in life, practice, wouldn’t be of much interest. That and the existing events deserve no promotion. As Mooky would say, “He’s just gay that way.” I say, daily health club memberships don’t cut it and a dose of mental therapy is needed. One and for all.