son of a engrossed newspaper

We grabbed a seat on one of the benches and proceeded to eating our bag of fresh juicy lime green grapes. “Better?” she asked and I shrugged.

We sat and watched moms, baby strollers and toddlers parade in front of us on their way to and from the aquarium. A mother and her son bought ice cream and sat near us on the bench. A few minutes later another kid—four or five years old—eating an ice cream cone, and standing on the sidewalk in front of the first kid, started talking, out of the blue it seemed, about how dumb he’d been while in pre-school. The first kid was busy scraping his lemon ice cream with a plastic spoon and didn’t appear to be listening, although it would’ve been impossible for him not to hear.

“I was so dumb when I was in pre-school,” said the second kid, and then he let out a loud “Whoo-wee” and a sigh. He shook his head and waited for a reaction. When he didn’t get one, he continued anyway. “I was so dumb. I was so dumb in pre-school…I was…I was as dumb as a pre-schooler. I was so dumb I couldn’t even spell A. Whoo wee. I was…I was…I was so dumb in pre-school I couldn’t even count to fifty…”

“Look at the kid’s father,” I said, noticing a guy who looked exactly like his son engrossed in a newspaper. “He’s totally tuning the kid out, pretending like he doesn’t even know him.”

“He’s probably heard it a million times already. He’s thinking; ‘Here we go again with the I was so dumb in pre school speech.’” Replied Sharon.

“One of these days he’s going to have to sit the poor kid down and level with him,” I said. “He’ll have to tell him, ‘Look son, yes, you were dumb in pre-school, but the truth is, you’re dumb now, too. Sorry to say you’re always going to be dumb. No way around it, I’m afraid.”

“You’re so mean,” said Sharon, punching my shoulder.

“Aaargh! What?” I said. “It’s okay. Not everyone can be smart, there’s nothing wrong with that. Some people are gifted in other ways. That kid’s gift happens to be stand-up comedy.”

I don’t know what’s up with me. I’m convinced that I have graphic OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). I stand in my bedroom with a glass of milk trying to piece things together. I spend long periods of time staring at glasses, at buildings, at light fixtures, wondering how they can best be incorporated into layouts. Life has become layered, flattened, filtered, a fixed-width page begging for its borders to be carelessly drawn over. I’ve got a nasty head cold, maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe I should learn how to use something more flexible. It’s a welcome change, truth be told. Between discovering a new realm of work in the governments’ Department of Justice, here at home I’m trying to keep up with the daily flood of information, my head’s grown heavy. Again, it could just be the head cold.

Less racket. I slept most of the time away and had a bizarre dream in which I was laying down in a field of crops out in the middle of nowhere. There was a white maple tree casting shade upon myself and then suddenly it died in an instant. I drowned peacefully in a shower of dead white leaves. When I awoke I found myself feeling too woozy to properly conduct myself so I laid motionless for another hour attempting to convince one of the dogs to bring me something to drink. During that time I came to the conclusion that I should lay in bed more often, not unlike Cameron in Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.

It seems to me that nothing in this world is more satisfying that doing nothing. If you think on it, most of us have been brought up thinking that the ultimate lifestyle is one in which we do as little as possible. So what are we waiting for?

Don’t ever feel sorry for me. I know I whined a little this morning and I might whine a little in the future. I will try again tomorrow and will make sure not to write about it. Meanwhile, please feel free to take advantage of whatever little my new fully functional site with everything ME you need. One thing is for sure, there are different pages for different things I do recommend you read. Soon I will have everything up and running a bit better. It took much too long to do all this mind you, so love me.



I found this new desktop for those who want to update their knowledge and visual mandate to the global war on terrorism. As you may know, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. So they have resorted to counterfeiting Canadian money. The Canadian government has decided to redesign their currency to prevent terrorists from using it. It is also hoped that this will have a positive effect on tourism.